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Time for us to wear any colour we like so long as it’s orange

Never before in history have so many been urged to wear the same colour clothing in which they hope to see their former president.

Orange is one of my favourite colours. I painted a yacht I used to have orange. The wild spring flower I like best is the orange gazania. I’m just sorry they left orange out of the national flag – it’s got every other colour in it.

Whereas orange does form one third of the flag of the country from which the Gupta family emanated, and if only they had stayed there and done to it what they did to ours, none of this would be necessary.

John Scott.

But now I have an excuse to wear orange on a more or less permanent basis, or at least as long as it takes Jacob Zuma to be fitted with a set of orange overalls.

That is the appeal of the Defend Our Democracy campaign.

If walking around like a citrus fruit is what it takes to save our Constitution and uphold the authority of the judiciary, count me in. The first thing I did on Monday, when I heard of all the outstanding citizens involved in the campaign, was rush out and buy a new orange T-shirt (65% reduction at Woolworths). I’ve been brightening up the landscape in it ever since.

It’s nothing fancy. No DOD sewn into it. Someone might say “don’t you mean DOOD?”

Not when I’m still alive, and hope to stay that way long enough to see the Constitution being honoured again, even by ex-presidents.

Talking of whom, perhaps this particular one will, in a relaxation of prison regulations, be permitted to wear a special insignia on his orange outfit, say a machine gun or a shower head. Something to set him apart from other rank-and-file no-gooders, especially when he is joined by some of his very good friends.

Orange puts me in mind of a wedding I once attended. There were seven bridesmaids all in orange, like seven vestal vir-gins. There wouldn’t be any of those around to ease the lot of a man who has deflowered more than his fair share of virgins in the course of fathering nearly as many children as the late King Goodwill Zwelethini.

At least being in chookie makes it that much harder for any of your wives to poison you.

I am also reminded of the last person to have successfully invaded England by force of arms, William of Orange. His real names were Willem Hendrik and, being Dutch, he was very careful to make sure he got a good reception before he crossed the channel, first insisting on a formal invitation from English politicians who wanted to get rid of the sitting monarch, King James II.

William III wasn’t a bad king.

Less than a year after gaining the throne in 1689 he reluctantly agreed to the adoption of a Bill of Rights restricting his royal prerogative, and prohibiting him from suspending laws made by parliament, levying taxes without parliamentary consent, raising an army with-out parliamentary consent, and punishing MPs for what they said in debate. What’s more, having approved all these democratic rights, he didn’t renege on them, or refuse to abide by the laws he had authorised. It is something he could have taught our own King of Nkandla.

  • Had the lesson been learned, there would have been no need for Jacob to risk joining the rest of us in orange.johnvscott@mweb.co.za
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